


took a picture of that smile (and stuck it in my heart)

by cohenatwood



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Basketball, Consensual Underage Sex, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gus and Jake being best friends since childhood lets goooo, They're like one big perfect on the outside but incredibly dysfunctional on the inside family, Underage Drinking, loosely based off the song driver's license lol, will clarke ever get her license that's the true question
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:33:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28865580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cohenatwood/pseuds/cohenatwood
Summary: Clarke hates that she still finds herself coming to the games. Hates that she has to watch Costia Greene sporting Lexa Woods stupid number and cheer her on with the cheerleading squad. Hates that her and Lexa’s families still have Sunday dinners even though they’re over. Hates that they’ll forever be in each other’s lives because of their dads. And as Lexa gets fouled, taking a hard hit, causing her to fall to the floor, Clarke hates that she finds herself holding her breath, hoping the brunette is okay…orClarke and Lexa's families are too close when they're no longer together and it's basically driving them insane.
Relationships: Abby Griffin/Jake Griffin, Anya/Bellamy Blake, Anya/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Gustus/Indra (The 100), Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 28
Kudos: 123





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Oh no not another fic when I haven't updated the other one. Relax, that update is coming. Obviously the song driver's license has been dominating the airwaves so I got inspired to write a little High School AU loosely based off of it. It's not going to be a very long fic as really there's only one place to go with this one, but I think the relationship dynamics and family dynamics will be fun to write.
> 
> Anyways I love the idea of Jake and Gustus being childhood best friends and making sure they raise their families as one big family. Also just finished watching The Wilds and basically I cannot stop picturing Costia as Mia Healey as Shelby so that's how Costia is, just a sweet southern belle who is definitely model status and 100% 'that blonde girl who always makes Clarke doubt' lol.
> 
> All mistakes are my own, enjoy!

Clarke glares as she watches the toned brunette dribble down the basketball court, taking her shot, and making it as the school cheers. She can hear her father, Jake Griffin, and her pseudo uncle, Gustus Woods, screaming at the top of their lungs in excitement for the brunette. She doesn’t chance a glance though, just moving to play defense. The utmost professional. Well, as professional as one can be in a High School varsity basketball game.

Clarke hates that she still finds herself coming to the games. Hates that she has to watch Costia Greene sporting Lexa Woods stupid number and cheer her on with the cheerleading squad. Hates that her and Lexa’s families still have Sunday dinners even though they’re over. Hates that they’ll forever be in each other’s lives because of their dads. And as Lexa gets fouled, taking a hard hit, causing her to fall to the floor, Clarke hates that she finds herself holding her breath, hoping the brunette is okay.

Lexa takes a moment to get up, but she does nonetheless. The gymnasium held a collective breath as they waited for the young team captain to rise back up. She sinks her two foul shots effortlessly, putting the Grounders up 67-48 with a minute left in the fourth quarter. Clarke watches as the visiting team uses up all their time-outs as one last rally before her adoptive sister, Octavia, steals the ball, passing down the court back to Lexa, and she sinks a half-court shot right at the buzzer. The crowd erupts, her other adoptive brother, Bellamy, running down the sidelines with his shirt off, chest painted in the school colors, holding the school flag as the crowd of students and parents alike begin singing the school’s fight song.

Clarke pays no mind to it though, just watching as Lexa breaks from the basketball huddle, Costia running up to Lexa and hugging her with a big grin on her face. The blonde then hands Lexa a gift bag thing as Lexa gives her a half smile. Stupid Costia. Well. Costia isn’t actually so bad. Out of all the cheerleaders, she’s probably the nicest. She also has to give Lexa gifts and wear her number because of the whole athlete/cheerleader buddy rule the High School has in place. But she doesn’t have to hug Lexa, or give her a kiss on the cheek. Or hang out with her outside of the gymnasium.

Clarke swears she’s not jealous. Or at least she wasn’t at the beginning of the year. But then when she walked into her favorite diner that she use to spend all her time with Lexa in, Lexa was there hanging out with Costia. And the rumors, god those fucking rumors.

_Lexa Woods fingered Costia in the back of her car after the football game._

_Costia Greene and Lexa Woods were caught pants down by a teacher in the ASB room._

_They had sex in shed at Nathan Miller’s party_

Granted, Anya and Lincoln, Lexa’s siblings, say it’s not true. But she also can’t help that maybe they’re trying to spare her feelings. Either way, fuck Lexa Woods.

//

Lexa watches the blonde drunkenly grind up against football quarterback, Finn Collins. She clenches her jaw as he runs his hands all over her body. She sips stoically from her red solo cup, standing near a bar in the corner of the living room. She never takes her eyes off of the blonde, even as people pat her on the back and congratulate her on the win. She watches as Finn begins kissing her neck, until the blonde pushes his head away with playful laughter.

Clarke doesn’t stop his roaming hands though, just leaning back into him and continuing the dance. But not before locking eyes with Lexa. They engage in a staring contest, the crowded party somehow dissolving around them. She watches as Clarke parts her lips, her blue eyes roaming all over Lexa’s body. Lexa doesn’t balk at it though, continuing to look passive at her.

“Hey bitch, we’re up next.” Octavia moves into Lexa’s line of vision, the trance broken.

“Yo Lexa! We playing one on one tomorrow?” Bellamy slurs as he comes up behind Octavia. Lexa looks beyond the two and notices someone else dancing with Finn now, Clarke nowhere to be found.

“Yeah, sure Bell we can play.” Lexa says, her eyes subtly looking for Clarke around the room. Doesn’t spot her though. Octavia pats Lexa on the shoulder as she makes her way into the kitchen. Bellamy sidles up to Lexa.

“Is Anya okay?” Bellamy asks after a minute. Lexa frowns and looks at Bellamy.

“I think so, why?”

“I don’t know, she’s been being weird lately. “ Bellamy and Anya had been dating for the last two years. It kind of came out of left field for everyone, especially Raven, who had a crush on Anya since they were all kids.

“I don’t know. I’ll talk to her.” Lexa shrugs. Bellamy gives her a grateful smile. Just then, Clarke comes stumbling back into the living room, taking a seat right on Finn’s lap. Lexa clenches her jaw.

“Whatever you’ve heard, it’s not true. Same thing we’ve been telling her.” Bellamy says into Lexa’s ear. Lexa gives Bellamy her best stoicism.

“Doesn’t matter. She broke up with me. If she wants to fuck an entire football team, I’m not gonna stop her.” Bellamy frowns.

“Hey-“ He starts but Lexa is walking away into the kitchen where Octavia had left to. Bellamy looks to where Clarke is drunkenly letting Finn touch her and heads over to her, angrily. He grabs her arm, yanking her up.

“What the hell, Bell!” Clarke slurs. Bellamy drags her into the less crowded hallway.

“You need to cool it Clarke.”

“Oh fuck you, go play big brother to everyone else.” She slurs. Wobbling on her feet.

“I get you’re upset, you think Lexa’s betrayed you or whatever, but letting every fucking guy touch you just to get a rise out of her. C’mon Clarke you know what people have been saying-“

“So what you’re gonna slut shame me?”

“No. But when you’re letting an eighteen-year old touch you all over when you’re sixteen, it’s a fucking problem. The whole school thinks you’ve fucked the entire football team, Clarke!”

Clarke frowns, “I didn’t. I haven’t done anything with anyone but-“

“It doesn’t matter Clarke! The way you’ve been acting at every fucking party this year…I know you didn’t do anything. I know that. But do you really think all the guys you’ve danced with this year care about your reputation? They don’t care about you, they just want to get in your pants, even if you don’t let them, they’ll continue to perpetuate those rumors cause at least they have that.” Bellamy stops. Clarke’s eyes welling a bit with tears.

“I don’t need this.” Clarke pushes past Bellamy, back to the party. He huffs, then spots Anya leaving a back room with Raven, both girls looking upset.

“What’s wrong?” He asks them. Both look at each other and shrug.

“Let’s get a drink, babe.” Anya says purposefully, kissing Bellamy’s cheek before he wraps an arm around her shoulder, Raven following behind.

Lexa and Octavia are cleaning the table in beer pong. Lexa stopped drinking a little over two hours ago and has just been focusing on winning game after game with Octavia.

“I think we’ve officially scared everyone away.” Octavia boasts. Lexa laughs and nods.

“The dream team strikes again!” The two do a handshake they’ve been doing since they were kids and both started up basketball together. Then, Lincoln, Lexa’s brother, wraps his arms lovingly around Octavia, kissing her on the cheek.

“Nothing like watching my sister and girlfriend kick some ass. On the court and off.” He smiles. Lexa winks.

“Too bad we’re not taking this act to college.” Octavia smirks. Lexa rolls her eyes.

“You’ll be fine by yourself.” Lexa states sternly. Octavia holds up her hands in defense.

“Hey don’t worry, I think your plan is good. I’m not Clarke.” She says softly. Lexa goes to speak until Costia is coming up to Lexa.

“Hey, there you are! You want another drink?” Her sickly sweet southern accent even thicker when tipsy. Lexa smiles at the girl and shakes her head.

“No I’m done drinking for the night. Just gonna round up whoever I need to give a ride home. You need one?” She asks. Costia nods.

“If you don’t mind. Also…pretty sure Clarke is in the backyard throwing up everywhere. You might wanna grab her.” Costia smiles sympathetically. Lexa sighs and turns to Octavia and Lincoln.

“Are you guys leaving anytime soon?” She asks hopefully. They both look at each other for a moment before shaking their heads.

“Sorry. Besides it’s like routine now.” Lincoln shrugs. Hinting at the fact that every party this year, Lexa’s had to take Clarke home. Lexa runs her hand through her curly hair before turning back to Costia, giving her the car keys.

“Grab your stuff and meet me out in the car. Also if you could open the back door, it’ll make it easier.”

“Absolutely, thanks Lex.” She gives her a squeeze of the shoulder before moving through the house. Lexa turns back and Lincoln and Octavia are no longer there. She moves to the back sliding door. No one is out back, the sound of distant music coming from the house. She steps out in the barely cool California air and looks around. She then hears the unmistakable sound of retching.

She looks over to the side of the house and sees Clarke holding onto the house, doubled over. Lexa walks briskly over to her, catching her around the waist before she falls into her own vomit.

“I got you.” Lexa says. Holding her tightly. Clarke limply lays her head on Lexa’s shoulder.

“Leave me alone.” She tries. Lexa rolls her eyes. They do this every time.

“Time to go home.” Lexa begins to drag Clarke, who lets her.

“I don’t want to go home with you.” She protests in a childish way. Lexa then picks up Clarke, bridal style, Clarke wrapping her arms around Lexa’s neck loosely, resting her head in the crook of her neck.

“No one else is leaving yet, and you need to get to bed before you get alcohol poisoning.” Lexa tells her. She mumbles something incoherent. Lexa walks them over to the gate, using a couple fingers to unlatch it before swinging it open. She walks down the street a little ways until she sees her 90’s classic white Range Rover, Costia in the front passenger seat and the backdoor open. Costia sees them and hops out of the running car.

“You need any help?” She asks. Lexa shakes her head.

“I got her, in the back though, grab my jacket?” Lexa asks. Costia nods moving to the trunk.

“Of course Costia is with you.” Clarke slurs. Lexa rolls her eyes at the drunk girl and begins laying her down in her backseat. Her dress hikes up a bit on her thighs. Costia hands Lexa her jacket and Lexa drapes it over Clarke, helping cover herself up. She pretends to not notice Clarke snuggling into the familiar jacket.

Lexa gets into the driver’s seat and begins driving to Costia’s house. They keep the radio low and conversation light, Costia seemingly being lulled to sleep herself by the moving car. Clarke keeps her eyes half open, watching Lexa and Costia. They don’t touch or anything, Lexa doesn’t even hold her hand while driving. Something she use to do with Clarke every time they were in a car together.

They’re soon pulling up to Costia’s darkened house. Lexa keeps the car running as she waits patiently for Costia to grab her things.

“Thanks, Lex. You workin’ today?” She asks. Lexa nods.

“Maybe I’ll stop by.” She smiles. Lexa smiles back and nods again.

“I’d like that.” Costia then opens the car door and shuts it. No goodbye kiss or hug, Clarke takes notice. Lexa sits for a moment, making sure Costia gets into her house okay before driving off. She glances at Clarke who is still in her same position in the backseat, sighing while she runs her hand through her hair.

Lexa pulls into their shared neighborhood. She passes her house, noticing Bellamy’s car parked outside it. She figures Bellamy and Anya must have made up or talked out whatever is going on between them. She turns to go onto the next street.

The Woods and Griffins share a long history. Jake and Gustus had grown up together in some bad neighborhoods of New York. Best friends since participating in a fight together when they were seven, the two vowed they would always stick together. And they did. They both pulled themselves out of the neighborhood, Jake getting accepted into UC Berkeley and forcing Gus to come with him. Gus would begin schooling at a trade school while Jake got his engineering degree.

They shared an apartment together all throughout, even when Jake met Abby and Gus met Indra. The four of them settled into a townhouse in Berkeley while Abby and Indra went to med school together. Gus started his own HVAC business that Jake helped work at outside of his internship. Eventually the four of them established themselves and decided to move further south. They settled in Carlsbad, California. But considering they were all ready to start a family, they no longer lived together. But as fate would have it, both of their dream homes ended being directly behind one another. Gus and Jake installed a gate on their back fence the families long lasting friendship officially cemented.

Both Abby and Indra were told they couldn’t get pregnant. So both families began the adoption process. Anya would be the first. Just a newborn who was taken from a drug addicted mother, set in the arms of the Woods. She was spoiled and dotted on the most, having been the first child for both families in a way. Then eight months later, a six month old, Raven would be placed with the Griffins.

Not even a month after Raven’s arrival, Indra would discover herself pregnant. Lincoln then came nine months later, strong and silent. The miracle baby. A year later, Abby would also find herself pregnant with Clarke, the other miracle baby. When Clarke was two and Raven almost four, Abby would come across a case with two siblings, Octavia and Bellamy. Their mother having died after a domestic violence dispute. Abby couldn’t let them go into the system. Octavia only being two years old while Bellamy was four. Hit too close to home so her and Jake agreed to foster then adopted them.

Lexa came last, the surprise one. Indra and Gus would be contacted when Lexa was five years old. Her birth mother, died of a drug overdose in front of Lexa. The social worker having contacted them as Lexa is Anya’s half-sister. Gus and Indra knew right away they couldn’t allow her to go into the system. And with that, the big family was complete.

The kids were all friends immediately. Many days spent going back and forth between that fence to each other’s houses. They always took vacations together, always spent holidays together, every Sunday was spent having dinner at one of the houses, it switching back and forth each week.

As they all grew older, so did the romantic developments. Lincoln and Octavia were surprisingly/unsurprisingly the first. Lincoln always was Octavia’s biggest protector growing up, alongside Bellamy, but it was different. It was a thing the parents use to joke about, that they’d be the ones to cement the Griffin and Woods together. So when Octavia, her freshmen year and Lincoln’s sophomore year, proudly declared at a Sunday dinner that Lincoln had kissed her, embarrassing Lincoln and making Jake choke on his beer, it seemed all that joking was coming to fruition.

Then came Anya and Bellamy. Bellamy had decided he was going to ask Anya to the winter formal. Although, family lore between the kids, specifically between Octavia, Clarke and Lexa know that Raven was actually going to ask Anya first. A big sore spot for Raven if you bring it up, even to this day. Not long after Anya and Bellamy began dating, now in their senior year, picking out colleges to go to together.

Then came the hurricane that is/was Lexa and Clarke. Clarke was the first one to make Lexa comfortable when she arrived. Teaching Lexa some game that they all played together, kick the can. Clarke purposefully grabbed Lexa’s hand and made her hide with her, their friendship cemented that day. As they grew older though, feelings began to get muddled. Lexa decided to take a leap of faith at the beginning of the summer before their sophomore year and it paid off. The two inseparable for over a year until, in Clarke’s eyes, Lexa made a terrible judgement call. Effectively ending their relationship.

Lexa pulls into Clarke’s driveway, Raven’s car the only one also there. She figures both Abby and Jake’s vehicles are parked in the garage. She turns off the car and looks behind the seat at Clarke. She doesn’t move. Lexa gets out and moves into the backseat, grabbing Clarke and lifting her up effortlessly. Clarke mumbles as Lexa scoots her to the edge of the seat, scooping her up bridal style and shutting the door with her foot. She carries Clarke to the side of the garage where a keypad sits to unlock the door. Lexa punches in the code and opens the door, making sure not to hit Clarke’s legs on Jake’s car before going to the door that leads inside the home.

She enters and it’s dark. She looks at the clock in the kitchen, reading 2:38 am. Clarke begins wrapping her arms tighter around Lexa’s neck as she begins to quietly move around the familiar house. She moves up the stairs, turning left to head to Clarke’s room. She passes Raven’s door which is shut, but the light is still on. She thinks about knocking on it and just having Raven put Clarke to bed. Clarke must sense Lexa’s hesitation cause she pulls Lexa even closer, gripping the back of her neck. Lexa readjusts Clarke in her arms and decides to just put her to bed herself.

She enters Clarke’s room and takes stock of it for a moment. There’s clothes all over the floor, her desk is riddled with sketches, her bed unmade. She walks to Clarke’s queen sized bed and gently lays her down in the middle of it. She meticulously takes off her high heels, placing them on the floor. Clarke grips Lexa’s jacket around her so Lexa decides she’ll just leave it. She takes a moment to watch Clarke. There’s dark circles under her eyes that makeup can’t even cover. Her hair is mussed and wild. Lexa reaches her hand out and moves a piece of Clarke’s hair from her face.

It’s then her blue eyes flutter open, looking at Lexa. Lexa doesn’t startle, they do this every time. Her eyes are no longer glassy and bloodshot. Lexa knows she’s sober, or on her way to being completely sober. She continues to stroke Clarke’s blonde tresses, Clarke leans into the touch. Usually Lexa strokes her hair until her breaths even out and she falls asleep but Clarke’s eyes are wide open. After a few moments she takes her hand away and stands from the bed.

“I’ll get you some water, then I’m gonna go.” Lexa says. She begins to move but Clarke catches her wrist.

“Stay.” Clarke whispers. Lexa hesitates. They don’t do this, she knows it’s under the guise of Clarke still being ‘drunk’ but they don’t do this. “Please.” Clarke says after a moment, looking into Lexa’s eyes. Lexa gives a single nod and sits back down on the bed.

She unlaces her white Airforce ones and then climbs into Clarke’s bed. Clarke sits up and puts Lexa’s jacket on before getting under the covers, guiding Lexa to do the same. Clarke doesn’t hesitate to lay her head on Lexa’s chest, her legs entangling around one of Lexa’s.

Lexa moves her arm around Clarke and starts stroking her hair again. Her heart is pounding through her chest and she knows Clarke can probably feel it. This is the most intimate they’ve been since end of July, nearly three months ago. Clarke begins moving her hands under Lexa’s shirt, tracing the abdominal muscles from years of basketball training. Lexa shivers from the action.

“You drive me crazy.” Clarke mutters, she moves her head and begins kissing along Lexa’s jawline. Lexa swallows.

“Clarke.” Her voice wavering from the touch. Clarke shakes her head as she continues to kiss her jawline.

“Don’t ruin it.” She whispers against her skin. Lexa relaxes into the bed as Clarke begins sucking and biting at a particular spot on her jaw. She sighs into the touch, moving her own hand down to Clarke’s lower back, tracing a pattern.

Clarke begins to slowly grind onto Lexa’s bare thigh. She can feel the wetness begin to form from Clarke’s underwear. She starts to pick up the friction, seeking a release as she continues to suck and bite Lexa’s neck.

“You sure?” Lexa asks breathlessly. Clarke nods.

“Yes. I need you. Just for tonight.” Clarke’s breath hitches towards the end. Lexa moves her hand further, Clarke’s dress completely hiked up now. She palms Clarke’s ass, helping her grind harder onto her thigh. Both of their breaths are hot and when Lexa purposefully flexes her thigh, Clarke bites down a little too roughly on Lexa’s jaw and she’s positive she’ll have a mark there in a few hours.

Clarke moves to be on top of Lexa, never stalling her movements. She puts her hands on either side of Lexa’s head and begins thrusting harder. Lexa grips her bare thighs, urging her on. Lexa feeling her own need of release. The bed is rocking hard now and Lexa internally cringes knowing that Raven is still awake and will definitely have questions. But she pushes it aside, wanting Clarke to feel good, and wanting to be the one who does it. Clarke sits up more fully, still grinding but looking at Lexa, moaning softly. She grabs ahold of one of Lexa’s hands on her thighs and guides it over her underwear.

Lexa gets the hint and begins circling Clarke’s clit over her drenched underwear as she picks up her pace. Her movements soon become sloppy, her release fast approaching. Lexa tightens her circles around Clarke’s clit, soon Clarke’s throwing her head back, a shudder running through her as she releases one loud moan, Lexa’s name falling from her lips, slowing her grinding as she rides out the rest of her orgasm.

Lexa takes her hand away from Clarke’s underwear, placing it back on her bare thigh. She feels the slick of Clarke’s release on her own thigh as she begins to softly massage Clarke’s thighs. Clarke slumps forward, catching her breath in the crook of Lexa’s shoulder and neck. Once her breathing slows down she places a gentle kiss on the skin there and rolls off of Lexa, onto her side.

Lexa bites her bottom lip as she stares up at the ceiling. Feeling a little used. Until Clarke’s arm is reaching for Lexa’s, guiding her to spoon her. As Lexa settles, Clarke’s hand begins to unbutton Lexa’s shorts. As she pulls down the zipper, she waits. She still has her back to Lexa so Lexa gives her consent by guiding Clarke’s hand into her shorts. Clarke never strays from on top of Lexa’s underwear, running her fingers through the familiar folds and circling Lexa’s own clit.

Lexa hikes her leg over Clarkes and begins to grind into Clarke’s hand and ass. She begins to suck and bite at Clarke’s neck, goosebumps forming on the skin as Clarke can’t help but softly moan. The bed has begun rocking loudly again as Clarke drives her hand and ass into Lexa as Lexa pushes back. As Lexa’s release approaches, she realizes Clarke’s other hand is between her own legs, fucking herself as she rubs Lexa. Lexa comes in a silent scream as Clarke also orgasms, moaning out Lexa’s name once again.

They both slump, a sheen of sweat over both their skin. As they come down from their high, a cold chill runs through both of them. Clarke grabs Lexa’s arm and has her cuddle her tightly, before long, sleep takes them. But not before Lexa feels Clarke pressing a kiss onto Lexa’s knuckles where she entwines their fingers.

//

Clarke wakes to the sun shining in her eyes. She then remembers the events of the early morning and sits up to look behind her. No one is there. She half wonders if she just had a very vivid dream until she spots a glass of water and Tylenol on her nightstand. Part of her is glad that Lexa left before she woke up. She doesn’t know what she would say to her ex. It had been a break in her resolve. Caught up in the moment. Then another part of her wishes she had stayed, missing her warmth and comfort.

Her bedroom door then opens and Raven lets out a low whistle.

“Be thankful that it’s me coming to get you up and not dad. It smells like absolute sex in here.” Raven smirks. Clarke groans and looks over at her digital clock. 10:58 am. Raven moves to one of Clarke’s windows and opens it up a crack.

“Scoot.” Raven looks down at Clarke. Clarke does as she’s told and opens the covers. Raven shakes her head. “I’m not getting underneath those covers until you wash your sheets.” Clarke rolls her eyes as Raven settles on top of the comforter.

“So…you and Lexa back on?” Raven asks. Clarke scoffs.

“No. How do you even know that’s who was in here?” Clarke smiles mischievously. Raven cackles.

“Judging by the hardcore rocking of this bed and you moaning out her name a couple times, not to mention you’re currently wearing one of her work jackets, it’s safe to assume she was the one in here.” Clarke deflates, looking down and realizing she is indeed still wearing the quarter zip up jacket for the Carlsbad Lagoon Recreation Area. Lexa’s name stitched on the other side.

Clarke sits up and takes off the jacket, throwing it across the room. Raven chuckles watching Clarke huff. “It was a moment of weakness.” Clarke states after a moment.

“You and I cannot afford moments of weaknesses when it comes to the Woods girls.” Raven mutters. Clarke creases her eyebrow and looks at Raven. Raven shrugs. “Let’s just say, you weren’t the only one doing bad things with one of the siblings.” Clarke sits up in shock.

“What did you do? Our brother is very much involved with one of them.”

“Nothing crazy salacious. Anya- she’s been freaking out lately. She doesn’t know if she wants to go to college with Bell. But Bell is like so set on it and their future and she’s not even sure she wants a future with him. Anyways, she was panicking at the party over something Bell said and I accidentally kissed her to calm her down.”

“Rae-“

“I know. I know. It was a complete mistake. Trust me, her and I both established that.” Raven says.

“You have to tell Bell. One of you does.”

“Absolutely not. He’ll kill me or worse, he’ll cry. It’s not gonna happen again. No reason to tell him we shared a drunken kiss.” Raven crosses her arms over her chest, Clarke can see the hurt in her older sister’s eyes.

“For what it’s worth, you did have her first.” Clarke tries, giving Raven a crooked smile. Raven grins.

“I did, didn’t I? Mother fucker.” Raven huffs. Clarke laughs and settles back down into the bed.

“What are you gonna do about Lexa?” Raven asks after a moment. Clarke shrugs.

“Nothing, it was a moment of weakness.” Raven scoffs.

“Clarke. Look I get it, Lexa going behind everyone’s back and committing to the Army after her birthday was fucking shitty. Totally out of left field. But it’s what she wants to do, we’re her family in a weird way, we have to support her.”

“She could literally do anything. She could play college basketball and go pro. Fuck she could go to any ivy league she wants with her GPA. She could be a goddamn musician. Instead she chooses to sign her fucking life away to the worst goddamn institution!” Clarke feels her anger at the situation once again bubbling up.

“I’m not saying I don’t agree with you. I’m just saying…you’re my little sister, Clarke. And I know you. You’re gonna hate yourself so much more than you hate Lexa right now when she does leave and you can’t just walk through the gate in the backyard to find her. To talk to her. You’re gonna wish you had a do-over.” Clarke swallows down her emotions, biting her lip.

“It’s not even the fact that that’s what she wants to do. It’s the fact she never mentioned it to me. Never talked about it. She just went to Gus behind everyone, including Indra, and made him give his consent. And then doesn’t even pull me aside and explain, just announces it at Sunday dinner like it’s the most normal thing in the world.” Clarke says. Raven nods.

“It was shitty. We all know that, including her. You have to know how much she’s been beating herself up over it. How she went about it. But you love her and she loves you. Don’t make the same mistakes that I’ve done.” Clarke turns to look at Raven.

“You love Anya?” Clarke asks. Raven nods.

“Of course I do. But I’m dumb and waited too long. I’m not about to steal my brother’s girl.” She tries a joke at the end but Clarke can see the emotions on her face.

“Well it doesn’t matter anyways. She’s with Costia now-“ Raven groans, cutting off Clarke and grabs a pillow, smacking Clarke in the face with it. “Hey!”

“She’s not dating Costia! How many times do we have to tell you that. They’re friends, which, mind you, you told her to be friends with Costia when she first moved here last year!”

“Well I’m regretting it now. I didn’t realize Costia would be such a-“

“Cute southern belle? Model status. Beauty queen of only eighteen-“ Raven begins singing the opening lines of ‘She Will Be Loved’ as Clarke grabs a pillow and pretends to suffocate her. Both girls giggling before falling back into the bed.

“Seriously Clarke, talk to Lexa. No screaming and crying. Just talk. Hear her out for once.” With that piece of advice, Raven gets up from Clarke’s bed and leaves her room. Clarke lays in bed for a moment, sighing loudly before getting ready for the day.

After she finishes showering and getting ready for the day, she makes her way downstairs to where Raven and their dad are hunched over the kitchen island, studying a document.

“What are you guys doing?” Clarke asks as she makes her way to the fridge.

“Looking over Raven’s college application to MIT.” Jake says distractedly. He continues to stare hard at the application before setting it down. Giving Raven a kiss on the head. “It looks perfect. You’ll get in.”

Clarke moves to a plate of bacon sitting on the counter that was made in the morning, hopping up onto the counter, sipping on orange juice and taking bites of the bacon. Jake studies her for a moment.

“What happened to your neck?” Jake cocks an eyebrow. Clarke slaps a hand to her neck, feeling the tenderness of the love bite that Lexa had given her. Raven huffs out a snicker.

“I fell.” Clarke tries weakly. Jake rolls his eyes and changes the subject.

“Clarke, I need you to go to the Lagoon and take the boat out.” He tells her as he gets into the fridge, grabbing his own glass of orange juice. Clarke groans.

“Why can’t Raven do it?”

“Cause I actually have a job you asshole.” Raven shoots back. Clarke rolls her eyes.

“What about Octavia, she likes it there more than me.” Clarke tries. Jake shakes his head.

“She’s at some scout interview thing from the game last week against Azgeda. They were impressed.” Jake beams proudly.

“What school?” Raven asks

“UC Berkeley of course. They know Griffin talent when they see it.” He winks. Clarke can’t help but smile at her dad’s playfulness.

“Bell?” Clarke tries again.

“Working with Gus and Linc. Sorry kiddo, you’re the only one. Mom’s in surgery and I’ve been put on kitchen duty for tomorrow.” He walks over and gives Clarke a kiss on the head.

“We could switch! I’ll get all the stuff for tomorrow.” Clarke pleads. Jake laughs.

“You haven’t gotten your driver’s license. You can’t carry everything with your bike. C’mon Clarke don’t be difficult. I’m sure Lexa isn’t even working today.” Jake smiles sympathetically.

“She is.” Clarke says before she can stop herself. Jake raises his eyebrow in a silent question. It’s no secret that Jake has been wanting Clarke and Lexa together since they were kids. Technically he wants all the Woods and Griffin siblings married off together. But there’s something about Lexa and Clarke that he can’t help but root for the hardest.

“Don’t you need to return something of hers that you borrowed last night?” Raven speaks up mischievously. Jake turns to look at Raven wide eyed while Clarke flips Raven off, mouthing the words ‘I fucking hate you’.

“You borrowed something of Lexa’s last night?” He asks excitedly. Clarke shrugs, hopping off the counter. As she walks by Raven she punches her in the shoulder, hard.

“Ow!” Clarke leaves the kitchen so she doesn’t have to answer more of her dad’s questions and have Raven sell out her early morning sexcapades more.

“Wait what’d you borrow?!” Jake calls after her. Clarke ignores him and heads up to her room. Slipping on shoes and grabbing the jacket from where she threw it earlier. She pauses for a moment, tracing the stitching of Lexa’s name before bringing the garment to her nose, smelling the scent of everything Lexa. She then moves to her desk, pulling open one of the drawers where she threw all of the photos she has of herself and Lexa.

She picks up the one she finds herself gravitating towards often. It’s a polaroid of the two Clarke sitting on Lexa’s lap as Lexa has her arms wrapped around Clarke’s waist, Clarke purposefully cheesing super hard while Lexa gives her classic half-smile. She studies the photo for a moment, feeling an ache and fondness spread in her chest.

She decides then that she will talk to Lexa. Let her say her piece and maybe, Clarke can find some way to forgive her for what she did, and the stupidly happy girl in those photos can return.

//

_“Okay Clarke, just ease off the brake.” Lexa says from the passenger seat of her car. Clarke has a near death grip on the leather steering wheel. Lexa turns the knob on the radio where her phone is plugged in, playing a random spotify playlist._

_“Clarke.”_

_“Yes?” Clarke continues to stare in front, scared to look over at the brunette next to her._

_“We’re literally in an empty parking lot at 11 at night. I won’t let you go above 10 miles per hour.”_

_“What if I crash your car? You saved up all your money working at the lagoon for this.” Clarke continues, panicking._

_Lexa chuckles and reaches over, trying to loosen Clarke’s grip on the steering wheel. “If you crash my car then I’ll just get it fixed. But there’s no way you’ll crash my car. I’m gonna keep my hand on the e-brake. I’ll pull it if you come close to anything.” Clarke finally chances a glance at Lexa._

_“I’m scared.” Clarke says, her blue eyes filled with worry. Lexa softens._

_“I’m right here. You’re just gonna go around the parking lot a couple times. I won’t let anything happen, okay?” Lexa says. Clarke swallows. “Do you trust me?” Clarke nods._

_“I trust you.” Lexa smiles and moves a piece of Clarke’s hair away from her face._

_“Then look forward and ease off the brake.” Clarke does as told and Lexa continues to give her instructions. After ten times around the parking lot, Lexa helps show her how to park in a parking space. Clarke smiling and giddy as she moves the shifter to PARK._

_Clarke looks over at Lexa, beaming at her first time behind the wheel. Lexa leans over the console, kissing Clarke tenderly. She pulls back barely a millimeter, whispering against Clarke’s lips, “I’m proud of you.” Clarke leans back into the kiss, deepening it._

_Lexa pulls away, kissing down Clarke’s neck for a moment._

_“Hmmm, I guess I should practice driving more.” Clarke rasps, Lexa chuckles, the vibrations sending tingles all over Clarke’s skin._

_“You definitely should. You look sexy in the driver’s seat.” Lexa says, nipping at Clarke’s pulse point. Clarke playfully pushes Lexa away, laughing._

_“Oh whatever. Besides, I like being able to look at you as much as I want. What’s wrong with having you drive me everywhere?” Clarke questions. Lexa rolls her eyes, sitting back in her seat._

_“I’m not gonna be around forever, Clarke. C’mon you did good, more practice and I bet by your seventeenth birthday, you can get your driver’s license.” Clarke sighs. Leaning back in the driver’s seat._

_She looks over across the road to the illuminating In N’ Out sign then looks back over to Lexa, putting on her best puppy dog eyes._

_“Double-Double animal style with animal fries?” Lexa asks. Clarke nods vehemently._

_“Eat at the beach?” Clarke suggests. Lexa smiles and nods. She unbuckles her seatbelt and gets out of the passenger seat. Clarke gets out of the driver seat and meets Lexa at the front of her car. Lexa hugs her, kissing her forehead before they part and get back into their respective seats._

_The two hit the drive-thru of In N’ Out, before driving out to the ocean. Lexa backs her car into a parking space, opening up her trunk and laying out the blankets and pillows as the two eat their burgers, watching the tide coming in._

_“Hey.” Clarke says after a long bit of silence, just the music playing._

_“What?” Lexa asks. Turning to look at Clarke._

_“I love you.” Lexa begins picking up their trash, tossing it into the garbage can before she climbs back into the trunk. Kissing Clarke and leaning her down into the blankets and pillows._

_“I love you too.”_

_//_

Clarke parks her bike just outside the rental shop. She looks into the parking lot, spotting Lexa’s car. She sighs, readying herself to face the green eyed brunette after their early morning activity. If anyone were to ask her, she’d never admit that she redid her make up and put on one of her low-cut shirts. She also didn’t dare to cover up the clear as day hickey Lexa had left her.

As she enters the nearly dead shop, (most everyone who wanted to rent things usually do it in the morning) she spots Lexa behind the counter. Nose buried in a book. Clarke can see the bruise she left on Lexa’s jaw and feels a little pride at the fact that Lexa also didn’t try to cover it up. Although, it looks less like a hickey and more like someone had hit her in the jaw. But her and Lexa know the truth.

Lexa seems to realize someone had entered the shop and looks up, startling for a second at Clarke’s presence before ear-dogging her book and setting it aside. Clarke walks up to her.

“Clarke.” Lexa says curtly.

“Lexa.” Clarke says just as curt. Before Lexa can ask her what she needs help with, Finn emerges from the back room.

“Hey princess, you come to see me?” He asks hopefully. Clarke notices the way Lexa moves off to the side, letting Finn now stand in front of her. She shakes her head and gives him an apologetic smile.

“No sorry. I actually came to take the boat out for a couple of spins-“ Clarke turns to Lexa then, “You know how dad is, gets worried if it sits too long in the off season.” Lexa nods, moving to the back wall to look for the Griffin’s boat keys.

“I’ll help you untie it.” Finn perks up.

“No, I can do it. No problem.” Clarke dismisses. He comes around from the counter.

“It’s my job, Clarke. Lex can hold down the fort for a few minutes.” Finn looks over at Lexa, giving her a genuine smile. Lexa gives him a half smile, then reaches over for Clarke to grab the keys, their fingers brushing.

It’s then Finn notices the mark on Clarke. He frowns for a moment, then looks over to where Lexa is sitting back on her stool, zeroing in on the mark on her jaw. To solidify his theory, Clarke moves back in front of Lexa, holding out her jacket.

“You left this at my house.” Clarke states. Lexa looks up, eyes widening as she looks between Clarke and Finn for a moment. Finn has the look of a kicked puppy while Clarke looks nervous. Lexa grabs the jacket, setting it on the counter next to her book.

“Thank you.” Lexa says. Clarke nods and turns to walk out, Finn following behind her.

Clarke and Finn walk on the dock to the speed boat in silence. Clarke already knows Finn has put two and two together.

“You know she sleeps with Costia, right?” Finn says after a moment. Clarke chuckles bitterly.

“If I believed every rumor that goes on in our school, that’d make me the football teams whore.” She stops, looking Finn up and down judgingly. “And we both know that’s not true.”

Finn pales a bit, “I never started that rumor.”

“But you’ve perpetuate it. We dance sometimes at parties, Finn. It’ll never be anything more. So quit telling your _boys_ that we’ve done all this shit when we haven’t at all.”

Finn stays silent, bending down to untie the boat after Clarke climbs in, starting it up. She puts it in neutral, until Finn is ready to guide her out of the slip. She moves the shifter to reverse and begins turning the wheel. She still finds it funny that she can drive a boat no problem but refuses to get her driver’s license. Something the family loves to tease her about. Finn tosses the ropes into the front of the boat, taking a seat on the edge of the dock, looking shameful.

Clarke drives the boat out of the no wake zone and guns it up until the boat plateaus, making a few circles around the lagoon to help wakeboarders and tubers alike. After about five circles she decides that’s good enough. She hopes she can entice Lexa to a conversation when she gets back, wanting to take baby steps into figuring things out with her.

She returns and instead of Finn, Lexa is waiting for her to help bring the boat back in. She’s wearing the jacket now with her shorts and shoes. She helps guide Clarke back into the slip, tying it up and offering her hand so Clarke can exit the boat.

“Thanks.” Clarke says. Lexa gives her a single nod. Clarke walks slowly on the dock now, Lexa keeping up with her pace. “So how’s work?” Clarke tries after a moment. Lexa laughs a little.

“You don’t care about work.” Lexa states. Clarke looks over at her sheepishly.

“No not really.” An awkward silence falls over them as they near the end of the dock. Clarke stops and sighs. “Can we…I don’t know. Can we talk? Like actually talk?”

“Right now?” Lexa asks. Clarke shakes her head.

“No. Tomorrow at dinner?” Clarke asks, she feels nervous, like she’s asking Lexa out on a first date again. Lexa nods.

“Sure. If that’s what you want.” Lexa says. Clarke nods.

“It is.”

“Okay.”

“Great.” The two stare at one another, Clarke not being able to help but glance at Lexa’s pillowy lips. She catches Lexa briefly looking down at hers. Clarke feels her resolve dwindling just like it did this morning until…

“Lexa!” Both Clarke and Lexa turn their heads. There in the parking lot stands all 5’11” of Costia Greene, beautiful blonde hair flowing in the wind. She literally looks like she’s in a commercial. Clarke tenses as Costia walks over to the two of them “Hey Clarke! It’s good to see you. Definitely much better shape than last night.” She beams. Clarke forces a smile and nods.

“Yup, much better. Thanks for your help.”

“Oh no problem. I mean, Lexa here did most of the work. I just alerted her to your peril.” She looks to Lexa and smiles. Lexa smiles back and Clarke feels her stomach churning. _So much for not believing rumors_.

“Well thank you. I better get going.” She hands Lexa the boat keys and before Lexa or Costia can say anything she’s crossing the parking lot to where her bike sits. As she unlocks the chain she watches as Costia hands Lexa some sort of white envelope. Lexa opens it and grins like a kid at Christmas. She also nearly squeals with excitement as she crushes Costia in a hug. Yeah, Clarke definitely feels like throwing up.

//

Lexa uses her discarded shirt to wipe the sweat from her forehead. Bellamy drinking obsessively from a water bottle which he tosses her to share after a moment.

“Still don’t get how you got to be so good. Lincoln and I use to purposefully let you and O win.” He chuckles, still trying to catch his breath. Lexa laughs.

“If that’s what helps you two sleep at night.” Lexa smirks, tossing the water bottle into the Griffin’s front yard before grabbing the basketball, bouncing it between her legs and then checking it to Bellamy.

“So how was your morning with Clarke?” Bellamy smirks. Lexa rolls her eyes, guarding Bellamy as he moves around the driveway.

“You guys really don’t keep shit between yourselves.” Bellamy side steps her, taking the shot but it bouncing off the rim, Lexa jumping up to grab the rebound.

“You’ve known us pretty much all our lives. You should know by now that we all tell each other pretty much everything. Especially juicy gossip like that.” Bellamy attempts to grab the ball from Lexa, but she pushes through him, making a layup. Bellamy shakes his head as they set up to check the ball once more.

“Still.” Lexa says, checking the ball at Bellamy.

“You mean to tell me you, Linc and Anya don’t share anything?”

“Not voluntarily. If anything ever gets brought up, it’s because one of you said something.” Lexa raises her eyebrows. Bellamy begins dribbling as Lexa guards him.

“So you haven’t asked Anya what’s up with her?” He asks. Lexa shakes her head.

“I haven’t seen her. When I got home she had already left for work.” Lexa strips the ball from Bellamy, landing a hook shot. Bellamy groans and collapses into the grass, his chest heaving. “You done?” Lexa walks to him and stands above him.

“I need a break. You forget that I don’t play basketball like you do.” He breathes. Lexa takes a seat next to him setting the ball next to her.

“Don’t worry about Anya, she’s probably just stressed or something. It is your guys’ senior year.” Lexa tries. Bellamy stares up at the sky.

“I feel like she’s pulling away from me.” He says after a moment.

“She loves you.” Lexa reassures him. Bellamy sits up and shakes his head.

“I know that. But…I don’t know. Lately it feels like she loves me as like her friend. We don’t even have sex anymore.”

“Yeah I don’t need to know about that.” Lexa grimaces. Bellamy laughs, laying back down on the cool grass.

“Just get me some intel, I’ll do the rest.” Bellamy asks. Lexa nods, briefly looking over at the living room window and seeing Raven and Clarke quickly duck behind the couch. Lexa rolls her eyes and stands, grabbing her muscle t-shirt and putting it back on. Bellamy sits up on his elbows, squinting at Lexa. “You out?”

“Since the 7thgrade.” Lexa jokes. Bellamy laughs and rolls his eyes.

“You ever get tired of that joke?”

“I think you like the joke, considering there’s many ways to ask if I’m leaving and yet, you always ask ‘you out’?” Lexa mimics Bellamy.

“I plead the 5th.” He stands, grabbing his own shirt and throwing it back on. “Mario Kart tournament in the basement tomorrow. Rainbow Road, specifically.” Lexa nods, the two doing their own handshake before Lexa leaves through the backyard.

Lexa enters her sliding back door to her dad cooking dinner, Lincoln sitting at the kitchen table doing some sort of project. She looks around for Anya.

“Anya home?” Lexa asks. Gustus turns around and dramatically sniffs the air after seeing Lexa’s appearance.

“You stink. You better shower before dinner.” Lexa rolls her eyes, moving further into the kitchen.

“I just walked in here.”

“Exactly my point. Go wash up. Mom should be home soon and she’ll have a fit if you sit at the table looking like that.” Gustus turns back to the pot he’s stirring. Then Lincoln takes the opportunity to actually stir the pot.

“What happened to your jaw?” He smirks. Gustus then whips around, moving towards Lexa to examine her face. Lexa glares at Lincoln.

“Looks bad, you need some ice? How’d you get it?” Gustus asks, totally oblivious to the siblings. He walks to the cupboard, grabbing a ziplock bag and a dishtowel. He moves to the freezer, scooping up a handful of ice and depositing in the baggy.

“I think I got hit during the game last night.” She lies. Lincoln fake coughs, muttering something along the lines of ‘or Clarke’s mouth’. Lexa shoots daggers at him as he pretends he’s not listening.

“Nevermind that, go shower and ice it. I’ll call you down when dinner’s done and mom’s home. Anya’s in her room by the way.” Lexa nods, walking towards the hallway to the stairs but not before kicking Lincoln hard in the shin. Lexa wearily climbs the stairs, her game with Bellamy having worn her out. She makes it to her room, setting the ice bag in the sink of her shared ensuite bathroom with Anya. She knocks lightly on the door.

“Yeah.” Anya says. Lexa opens and steps into Anya’s room. She’s laying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“You good?” Lexa asks. Anya shrugs.

“Work was tiring.”

“Get any good tips?” Lexa moves to sit on the side of Anya’s bed. Playing with her comforter.

“78 dollars. Not too bad.” Anya sits up, moving to prop her back onto her headboard. She studies Lexa. “You good?”

Lexa shrugs, “You’re not gonna also make a joke?” Anya shakes her head.

“No because I know it’s a precarious situation. Raven shouldn’t have told everyone anyways. I bitched her out for you.” Lexa gives Anya a grateful smile. The two always have had a special bond, being actually blood related. Much like Octavia and Bellamy.

“Bellamy’s been asking me to ask you if you guys are good. Normally you know I don’t get involved but he’s been pretty persistent.” Anya lets out a huge sigh, rubbing a hand over her face.

“I don’t want to go to college with him.” She says. Lexa frowns, moving to sit next to Anya on her bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just- growing up all of us together, it was fun. We all had built in play mates. But I feel like lately there’s just this pressure for him and I to continue on. Go to college together, get married, pop out kids. Obviously that’s like the perfect thing for Octavia and Lincoln, but I don’t want it with Bellamy. And I hate admitting that cause I do love him-“

“You’re just not in love with him.” Lexa finishes. Anya swallows and nods. Lexa grabs ahold of Anya’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “It’ll be okay. Just talk to him, be honest with him. Bell’s reasonable I’m sure he understands.”

Anya doesn’t say anything for a moment, just letting the silence settle over the two sisters. Then, “I kissed Raven last night.”

“What?” Lexa asks, not able to hide the shock in her voice. Anya just nods. “Shit.” Lexa mutters.

“It just happened. I was freaking out, confiding in her after Bell had made a comment about ‘when we get married’ to someone. She just kissed me but then I kissed her back until I realized what was happening and I pulled away. I fucked up Lex.”

“Do you like Raven?” Lexa asks. Anya scoffs.

“What is this, middle school? Check yes or no if you like me.” Anya rolls her eyes. Lexa doesn’t take offense, knowing how Anya operates.

“I mean it would make sense. You two had a crush on each other long before you and Bell got together.” Anya keeps silent, just staring at her door. “Look, if you have feelings for Raven, you got to be honest with Bellamy. The whole deal. If I’ve learned anything it’s better to tell them now than later or else it’ll keep building.”

Anya nods. “I’ll tell him tomorrow.”

“Good.” The sisters sit in silence and then Lexa sighs, getting up from the bed to take a shower.

“Lex?” Anya calls out. Lexa turns back to look at Anya, “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

//

For the first time in eighteen years, there’s nothing but awkwardness in the basement of the Woods residence. Anya is sat at one end of the large couch, Clarke all the way at the other end, curled into herself. Lincoln and Bellamy awkwardly sit criss-cross on the floor looking at the girls on the couch, then to each other. No one really speaking.

“So-uh- rainbow road?” Lincoln asks. Lexa and Raven shrug, not making a move to get off the couch. Octavia looks around at everyone, clearly having missed something while she was at her scouts dinner.

“What’s happening? This is painfully awkward.” Octavia finally speaks up. Bellamy and Lincoln shrug.

“Clarke and Lexa did the nasty after Nate’s party.” Raven blurts. Clarke glares hard from her spot at Raven. Lexa stands, not wanting to be a part of the ensuing bickering between everyone.

“Nice, you fucking asshole.” Anya says to Raven, also standing up to follow Lexa into one of the guest rooms. Raven has a mind to look ashamed after that. Octavia doesn’t seem to take the hint to drop it though.

“I thought you were pissed at her?” Octavia asks Clarke. Lincoln attempts to plead with his eyes for Octavia to be quiet, but Clarke and Raven do it for her.

“Shut up Octavia!” The two girls yell. Octavia holds her hands up in defense, getting mad at her sisters as well.

“Fuck you guys, then.” Octavia also stands and follows Lexa and Anya. Bellamy and Lincoln stay seated, playing with the buttons on the game controller, not really knowing what to say. Clarke continues to stare daggers at Raven, Raven avoids Clarke’s stare.

“So uh- yeah, rainbow road?” Lincoln tries again. Raven rolls her eyes and finally makes the move to play with the boys. They start the game and after a bit, Lexa, Octavia and Anya return. Clarke tries to catch Lexa’s eyes but Lexa keeps her eyes focused on the flat screen, until her phone dings. Clarke watches Lexa read whatever someone sent her, a smile blooming on her face. She feels her stomach twisting into knots.

She watches Lexa switch her phone to silent and then start texting whoever is on the other end. She notices Anya taking a peek at some of the messages, then Anya glancing over to Clarke. Clarke gets her answer in Anya’s eyes on who Lexa is happily texting. Costia. After a bit, Lexa lets out a chuckle and Clarke can’t take it anymore. She stands, needing to take her own break in the guest room.

She sits on the guest room bed, taking a breather until the door opens and Anya walks through.

“They’re just friends.” Anya says. Clarke shakes her head.

“She seems happy.”

“They’re just friends.” Anya reiterates, sitting next to Clarke.

“I broke up with her. She has every right to move on.” Clarke ignores Anya.

“Clarke.” Clarke finally looks at Anya, her blue eyes a little teary.

“Costia is her friend. She’s literally just making fun of her about some pageant thing. Lexa loves you, Clarke. Why do you think she’s the first one to take you home after every party? She just does it. She doesn’t even attempt to get one of us to do it, you know for a fact Bellamy would do it. But she purposefully doesn’t ask him. She loves you.”

Clarke sits on that for a moment. She knows Lexa really hasn’t shown any signs of being into Costia. Just the rumors and their close friendship having encroached into her mind. Clarke sighs.

“I don’t know. Maybe I made a mistake.” Clarke states.

“About?” Anya asks.

“All of it.”

“No. You were right to be upset. She went about it all shitty for sure. But you can punish her all you want but you know deep down at the end of the day, she’s punishing herself way worse. Just like you are now with your own self on how you’ve been reacting. You both are very similar in that aspect.”

Clarke nods. Not really knowing how to respond. Because Anya is right, she goes back and forth over breaking up with Lexa. She’s been wanting to be back with her for awhile, but the guilt she feels herself, over hurting Lexa with her actions the past few months…she doesn’t know if she’ll get past it.

“Let’s go back, I have a feeling dinner is about to be awkward for the first time ever.”

//

The adults all look around at the kids. Usually they’re all bantering and going back and forth but it’s eerily silent. It wasn’t even this silent when Clarke and Lexa first broke up. Just the sounds of their cutlery hitting the plates, everyone eyeing each other.

“I saw that bowel obstruction you assisted on. End product looked very nice.” Indra says to Abby after a moment. The two women then launch into a very graphic discussion which has everyone cringing.

“No offense, but can we table that until dessert at least.” Jake asks, faux gagging while Gustus laughs. Usually Jake and Gustus’ antics get the kids to join in and laugh but all of them stay silent.

A few more moments of awkwardness passes until Jake speaks up again. “Lexa, I got tickets to the Lakers for next weekend. I say you, Octavia and I drive to Los Angeles Friday after school, hang out, then go to the game Saturday and drive back.”

“Oh I can’t go.” Lexa says. Jake frowns.

“No?”

Lexa takes a quick glance at Clarke before she speaks, “I-uh I have to do something for my recruiter.” Everyone else not so subtly looks at Clarke who is mid-bite. Clarke looks at everyone and frowns as she slowly chews her food.

“I must have looked at your schedule wrong. I told Jake you would be free.” Gustus gives Lexa an apologetic look.

“It’s okay. Bell can take my ticket.” Lexa offers.

“What if I wanted it?” Lincoln asks. Jake scoffs.

“I’m not third wheeling.” Jake jests. The banter starting to feel like normal until…

“Pshh you use to third wheel with Clarke and Lexa all the time.” Raven says offhandedly before smacking a hand over her own mouth, realizing what she said. Anya glares hard at Raven. More awkward silence falls over the family, Lexa not daring to look at Clarke.

The rest of the dinner goes by in relative silence, only the adults talking amongst themselves while casting worried glances at the kids until Gustus pushes his plate away.

“Well I’m sufficiently stuffed and filled with awkwardness for the rest of the evening. I think I need a whiskey after this.” He gets up looking around at everyone before grabbing his plate into the kitchen, Jake following after him. Effectively dismissing the kids to go back downstairs.

Once all of them settle, Lincoln wordlessly puts on Netflix so they all don’t have to talk. Bellamy attempts to cuddle Anya who noticeably dodges it. After about fifteen minutes of some random movie Raven groans.

“Okay seriously. I’m over this. So you two slept together, big whoop. We don’t need to make this as big of a deal as its becoming.” Clarke glares.

“You’re the fucking one who made it a big deal in the first place!” Lexa leans her head back on the couch, staring at the ceiling as the two sisters go at it.

“I was just sharing with the class what our favorite couple was up to.” Raven smirks. Clarke then punches Raven’s arm. Hard. “That actually fucking hurt, bitch.”

“You know for someone with a big secret of their own involving someone else in this room, you sure do love running the mouth telling other people’s secrets.” Clarke says. Lexa whips her head at Clarke, realizing Clarke is very much aware of what went down between Anya and Raven.

“What secret?” Bellamy asks. Clarke trips over her words for a moment and Lexa knows Clarke didn’t mean to spill that much by her flailing.

“Bellamy, just watch the movie.” Anya tries. He frowns, sitting up straighter.

“No, Clarke’s right. Raven loves to tell everyone’s dirt, I think we all deserve some of hers.” He smiles. Lexa then stands, grabbing Clarke’s arm and pulling her up, dragging her to the guest room. Once Lexa shuts the door, she turns to Clarke.

“What are you doing?!” Lexa exclaims. Clarke shrugs.

“It just came out.” Lexa shakes her head.

“Leave Anya alone, Clarke. I get your pissed at me, Raven and everyone else but dragging Anya too, it’s not gonna fly.” Clarke then glares at Lexa.

“I’m not dragging Anya into anything! Raven is being insufferable, sometimes you have to give her a taste of her own medicine to get your point across.”

“You’re putting her in the crosshairs though.”

“So you know.” Clarke states. Lexa sighs and begins pacing around the room.

“Yes, she’s going to tell Bellamy. But now it’s going to look like she only told him because you blackmailed Raven.” Lexa glares at Clarke.

“She can’t tell Bellamy.”

“Why not?”

“Bellamy will be pissed at Raven. He might kill her. It was a drunken kiss, didn’t mean anything.”

“She wants to break up with him.”

“So she can break up with him without telling him what happened.” Clarke counters, her arms across her chest. Lexa shakes her head.

“She’d be lying. It’ll snowball.” Lexa tries. Clarke scoffs.

“It’s a lie by omission, you’re great with those.” Clarke snarks. Lexa visibly deflates and Clarke feels a tightness in her chest. It had been a knee jerk response. “I’m sorry.” Clarke says. Lexa doesn’t look at her though, seeming to think about something.

When Lexa looks up though, her green eyes are sad and full of some sort of acceptance. “I thought- when you asked me to stay the other night. When we did what we did and then you came to the lagoon-“ she sighs, “I thought maybe we could figure it out finally. But Clarke, you’re always going to resent me for this. And I’m sorry that I did this. That I hurt you. It’ll always be my deepest regret. But…I’m done, Clarke. I’m tired.”

Clarke feels her eyes welling. She doesn’t know why this feels more like a final break up than their actual break up.

“I’m done looking after you. I’m done hoping that you’ll forgive me. And maybe you will someday. But I’m tired of this Clarke. I love you, that’s never going to change. But, I think I need to learn to not be in love with you anymore. It’s hurting too much.”

Clarke steps forward, trying to keep Lexa’s eyes on her, “Please. I’ll forgive you. I can, I can do it.” Clarke nearly begs. Lexa shakes her head.

“But you shouldn’t have to.” She says sadly. Clarke puts her hands on either side of Lexa’s cheeks. The two looking into each other’s eyes.

“Please. I’ve been dumb and irrational. I know that now. Lex, don’t make another decision without me.” She pleads. Lexa shakes her head, grabbing Clarke’s hands from her face and holding them.

“You’ll never get truly past this unless we actually try being without each other. We can lie to everyone and say we have been without each other. But in actuality we haven’t. I take you home from every party. I stroke your hair till you fall asleep and we both pretend you’re still drunk when we know you’re sober.”

Clarke takes her hands out of Lexa’s and grabs ahold of her face, one last act of desperation. She kisses Lexa, hard. She doesn’t want to truly lose her. She’s been able to play this game of being broken up but still having her. But with every word Lexa speaks, she knows she’s truly losing her. Lexa begins kissing her back until she pulls away. She then kisses Clarke’s forehead before walking out of Clarke’s grasp.

Walking to the door of the guest room, Lexa turns back, “I will always love you Clarke. And if you really actually do need me, I’ll be there. But we can’t keep doing this.” With that she walks out, Clarke wipes her face, the tears free falling now. She knows she needs to go back into the living room so she rubs her eyes and decides to put on a brave face.

When she goes out into the living room, only Raven, Lincoln and Octavia are there. Clarke looks around, noticing the other guest bedroom door is closed. She takes her seat at the other end of the couch, silently crying as the movie plays. Raven puts a hand on Clarke’s leg and squeezes. Clarke doesn’t look at her though, wiping her eyes and keeping her eye trained on the movie.

Just as she’s able to somewhat focus on the plot of the movie, Bellamy opens the door of the guest room, hard. They all turn around and Clarke knows instantly that Anya told him. He walks over to Raven.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He yells. Raven looks wide eyed.

“Calm down, first of all.”

“Fuck you. You kiss my girlfriend, I’m not gonna calm down!” He grabs Raven up off the couch. Clarke springs into action, getting in-between the two siblings.

“Hey! Stop it! You’re not going to fight her!” Clarke yells. Bellamy pushes Clarke out of the way until it’s Lexa grabbing Bellamy, slamming him into the wall, pinning him with her forearm.

“Take a breath. Calm down.” Lexa says sternly. Bellamy huffs for a few seconds, the tears welling in his eyes. “Breathe.”

“What’s going on?” Gustus and Jake are now at the bottom of the steps, looking around at the scene. They had watched Lexa come upstairs upset and then not long after, racing back downstairs which followed by yelling and the noise of Bellamy being pushed into the wall.

“Your daughter kissed my girlfriend.” Bellamy spits. Jake immediately looks at Raven, who has her arms crossed over her chest, head down.

“Lexa, let go of Bellamy.” Jake says. Lexa shakes her head.

“Not till he’s calm.” Lexa grits. Jake walks over and gently takes Lexa’s arm off of Bellamy. Guiding him off the wall and with him upstairs. Anya sniffles in still by the door of the guest room. Raven seems to take a few step forwards towards her, but decides against.

“Clarke, O, and Raven, it’s probably time to head home.” Gustus says.

“I can’t go there.” Raven says. Gustus shakes his head.

“Your dad has it. If you need me, text me and we’ll let you sleep down here. Your mom is still upstairs, she’ll escort you guys home.”

“Let’s go, Rae. You can sleep in my room tonight.” Clarke offers. Octavia scoffs, walking up the stairs in front of the two girls, angrily. Clarke looks back and catches Lexa’s eyes, not really sure what they’re conveying.

Gus watches his three kids in silence. Lexa looking pensive. Anya, clearly upset. Lincoln his face in a frown. He runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

“Go get ready for bed. It’s late. The same problems will still be here tomorrow.” He advises. All three give a single nod before heading upstairs. They meet a concerned Indra in the kitchen, still sipping on a glass of wine. She bypasses Lexa and Lincoln and intercepts Anya, pulling her protectively towards her and into another room. Lexa wants to follow but decides against it.

Clarke and Raven get ready for bed in Clarke’s room. Their dad have advised the two of them stay in there until morning. After Bellamy and Jake got home, Bellamy went into a fit of rage and trashed his room until Abby took him out of the house for a very long walk around the neighborhood. Clarke plays with Raven’s hair until she falls asleep. She then turns over, grabbing her phone and going to the contact. She hasn’t sent a text to it in a long time. The last one having been Lexa apologizing to her once again.

**Lexa <3 [July 28th, 2022]: I’m so sorry.**

Clarke begins typing.

**Clarke [Now]: I’m sorry too. I miss you.**

Clarke then scrolls to her voice memos, finding a specific one. A secret only Clarke knows about Lexa is that she’s actually very gifted with a guitar and turning a phrase. Back in June, before their break up. She had played Clarke a song she had written about her. Clarke puts her headphones in and begins listening.

“Don’t record this!” Lexa can be heard saying.

“You wrote a song about me, I want to hear it forever!” Clarke laughs. Lexa groans and plucks a few strings.

“You’re so annoying. Don’t share it with anyone else. I mean it.” Lexa says sternly. Clarke giggles.

“Just between you and me.” Clarke says. It’s then Lexa begins.

“One… Two… One, two, three  
  
You've got cash, but I've only got my card  
I might crash staring at you in the car  
Tonight's been nice 'cause I kissed you at your door  
And if I didn't see you anymore  
  
Then I could get by thinking 'bout you in that shopping cart  
'Cause I took a picture of that smile and stuck it in my heart  
I don't know too much about you, but of what I do so far  
There's nothing not to love about you, darling, hey  
  
You've got flights, but I could get you from the curb  
Tell me, what's your type? 'Cause we both love kissing girls  
Let's eat dinner twice, 'cause nothing's fucking with those curves  
This has been one good night; if it's our last one together  
  
Then I could get by thinking 'bout you in that restaurant  
'Cause I took a picture of that smile and stuck it in my heart  
I don't know too much about you, but of what I do so far  
  
There's nothing not to love about you, darling  
There's nothing not to love about you, darling, hey”

“You know everything about me though!” Clarke exclaims, Clarke can hear the distinct sound of the two of them kissing.

“I know, I just had to make it rhyme.”

“I love it. It’s my favorite song now.” Clarke’s voice sounds so sincere in the memo. Clarke wipes her eyes and turns off the memo. It truly still is her favorite song.


	2. Authors Note!!!

Hey guys!

I’m not abandoning this story or the others! A lot decided to happen all at once after I posted this first chapter. My grandpa who I was very close with passed away from Covid and I needed to fly back to my hometown, so I was there for a bit and just yesterday we had to put my childhood dog to sleep so lots of unfortunate events have been taking place.

I’ve seen the comments hoping I didn’t abandon the stories so I just wanted to reassure that I plan on finishing them! I already have about 10,000 words of the next chapter of this written, but with what’s happening in that chapter there’s a specific point I want to cut it off at and I’m not even remotely close to that point so when I do update expect a very very lengthy chapter. Hopefully that makes up for my absence. You’ll also see I changed the number of chapters from 6 to 4 as I realized with 6 I’d be really dragging out some unnecessary plot points. With that being said, I’m toying with an idea with this becoming a series so once this part wraps up I might do a part two with an additional 4 chapters of everyone when they’re adults. It’s not set in stone just something I thought about.

Anyways just wanted to give that update and when I have the new chapter up I will be deleting this note. I’m hoping to sit down Wednesday and Thursday and just write the day away so hopefully I can get a good chapter out by either Thursday evening or Friday. Thank you so much for all the interest in the story and subsequent comments! I appreciate it!

**Author's Note:**

> Dumb dumb high school kids lol. More to come. They're obviously going to continue making dumb decisions lol they'll all get it right eventually!
> 
> The song Lexa 'wrote' is a song called kissing girls by grady. It's great!
> 
> Edit: also here’s a moodboard for this first chapter :) https://vs.co/S3CaMCxgddb


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